Hey Reader,

Most high-achievers I know (myself included, for years) are absolute masters at thinking.

We analyze, strategize, optimize, and foresee every possible risk.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth I had to face:

We’re often just as addicted to negative thinking as we are to productivity.

I used to think my constant inner commentary was “realistic” or “responsible.”

“If I share too much, they'll know my secrets.”
“These people are hypocrites.”
“If I leave this job, I’ll lose everything I’ve built.”

Sound familiar?

Those thoughts didn’t feel good… but they felt like me.

They gave me a strange sense of identity.
A righteous anger.
A familiar story to cling to.

The mind thrives on unhappiness and negativity because it strengthens the sense of a separate self.

The more you suffer in thought, the more “real” the “you” feels — that mind-made "you" that comments on everyone and everything.

Trying to forcefully stop the thoughts rarely works for long—especially for analytical minds like ours. The thinker just argues harder.

So what actually helps?

Here’s a simple but powerful practice I’ve used countless times (and now guide clients through):

Next time you catch yourself in a loop of negative thinking, pause and ask two quiet questions:

1. Is there a part of me that actually enjoys this negativity and doesn’t want to let it go?
2. Is there a familiar comfort here—a sense of identity, even a grim satisfaction—in feeling this way?

Don’t try to answer with more thinking.
Just notice what shows up in the body.
Witness any response without judgment.

If nothing negative is running right now… wait a minute or two.
One will probably arrive soon enough.

This isn’t about fixing yourself.
It’s about seeing the hidden addiction clearly—so it starts to lose its grip.

For me, this practice was part of what finally dissolved the dense weight I carried in my chest and throat during those suffocating years at UCSF.

The negativity didn’t vanish overnight.
But I stopped feeding it unconsciously.

And in that space, something quieter—and far more trustworthy—began to emerge.

You’re not broken for having these thoughts.
You’re having a human experience.
And seeing the pattern is the first step toward the freedom you actually want.

​

Rooting for you,

Alex
Wayfinder Coach